How to respond to racist, sexist or anti gay jokes

Despite all the equal opportunity legislation in place today, I’m still hearing frequent complaints about unsavoury jokes in the workplace. It can be very difficult to handle these, laughing implies you support the joke, but it does maintain your relationship with your co-worker(s) Staying silent does not get your distaste across, but saying something against the joke can lead to you being ridiculed as “over sensitive” and contribute to a bad workplace atmosphere.

Carmen Van Kerckhove suggests the best response should accomplish the following

“ 1) Communicate that you find this behaviour unacceptable.
2) Demonstrate that the joke is racist. (or sexist, or ageist, or anti gay etc)
3) Inflict as little damage as possible to your working relationship with the
joker.”

She suggests the best way to handle such jokes is to feign ignorance, pretend not to understand the joke-simply saying “I don’t get it” and asking the “joker” to explain.
She uses this example below.
“Co-worker: Did you hear that Angelina Jolie adopted another kid, this time from Vietnam?
You: Oh really?
Co-worker: Yeah. The poor kid probably doesn’t even know he’s Asian yet. He certainly doesn’t know he’s going to be a horrible driver. Or that he’s going to be amazing at doing nails. He has no idea! [Laughs heartily.]
You: [Look perplexed.] Sorry, I don’t get it.
Co-worker: What do you mean?
You: I guess I’m missing something. Why is that funny?
Co-worker: [Looks embarrassed.] Um, well you know how people say that Asians are bad drivers. And a lot of people who work at nail salons are Asian.
You: But those are just stereotypes, aren’t they?
Co-worker: Well, all stereotypes have some truth to them.
You: So you actually believe that all Asians are bad drivers and are good at doing nails?
Co-worker: No, no, it’s just… Never mind.”

The full blog entry is well worth reading and can be seen by clicking here.


I think Carmen’s approach could be very effective, but if the joke stereotype is really blatant, I think I’d find maintaining an air of complete ignorance difficult.
I’d be interested in hearing from readers whether they think this approach would work or any other approaches you find has worked for you. You can use the comments button below or email me directly at blog(at)quovadis.ie. (Sorry no direct link, because of spamming problems)

Other possibly related posts

Ageism
Mental Health in the Workplace
What should I do if I work for a jerk

Key words
racist workplace jokes
career advice Dublin
career guidance Ireland

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