In the news there are quite a significant number of instances where failure to listen and act on feedback is causing severe problems.
Some examples
If national and local government had listened to Niall o Brolchain’s complaints about water quality in 2005 maybe over 90,000 Galway people would not be boiling water to-day.
If the Board of the EBS had listened and acted on feedback some more, maybe their private discussions would not now be public with open criticism between directors and allegations of mishandling of bank affairs and bullying.
Yes it’s difficult to accept feedback even when you’re fully qualified professional.
Despite all the scandals in the medical profession both here and abroad, medical General Practioners (GP’)s are finding it difficult to volunteer for much needed performance audits. 400 GP’s are needed to take part in the pilot performance audit but to date only 50 have volunteered. (Sunday Times 1/4/07). I wonder is this because of concerns about flaws in the process or is it natural human fear of criticism?
Being able to receive and act on feedback is a key skill all successful leaders possess. So it is essential to develop this skill if you aspire towards excellence in any area.
Seeking feedback when unsuccessful in a job application can provide very useful information as the recruiters don’t really know you so there’s less emotion involved and the feedback is less threatening. In one recruitment process, all the unsuccessful short listed candidates were offered feedback. Only one candidate took up the offer and used the feedback session very constructively, sending an email of thanks afterwards. When the original successful candidate turned down the job, guess which of the unsuccessful candidates was contacted?
So some tips on receiving feedback.
First separate yourself as a person from your behaviour.
If when we hear constructive feedback we assume we’re no good as a person then we immediately become defensive and emotional and we can’t handle the feedback rationally.
If however we see the feedback as some thing we can learn from, and not a personalised attack, the rational part of our brain stays engaged. Generally people who have good self esteem can handle feedback better than people with low esteem.
This is a key topic beloved of psychologists and for a fuller non clinical explanation see “The Power of Negative Thinking” by Tony Humphreys.
Second listen without interrupting until the speaker is finished. This demonstrates your ability to listen patiently and demonstrates maturity. Taking deep breaths can help maintain calmness.
Third ask for clarification (if necessary) without being defensive.
“So if I understand you correctly, you think that I’m always late for work, though I’m here at 9.15 am each day to start work on time at 9.30am.” This is an actual example where the boss giving the feedback did not realise the new recruit had been told by the HR manager to start at 9:30. By responding in such a neutral way the new recruit clarified the issue and increased her manager’s regard for her. Imagine though if she’d said angrily
“I can’t believe this you think I’m late when I know I’m here15 minutes early every day, you people are …..!” Fourth, don’t make assumptions about the intentions of the person giving the feedback.
So maybe your boss is “out to get you”, but maybe he or she is trying to be helpful. You should be very aware your body language sends clear messages so you may present as a very angry person if you feel your boss is “out to get you”. This reduces your opportunities to get valuable feedback.
Fifth summarise what the speaker has said, without necessarily agreeing with it.
“So you feel I’m not paying enough attention to my customers with the result that my customer complaints have gone up 100%. I need to think about this, can I come back to you?” This demonstrates your maturity in listening without necessarily agreeing with the feedback and gives you the option to discuss later when you’ve had time to examine the issue.
Sixth acknowledge the effort of the feedback giver
Even if you don’t like the feedback, thank the giver, because it is hard to give feedback. Culturally Irish people find it very hard to be direct. How many people complain about the cold food even when the waiter asks
“Was everything all right?” Thanking the feedback giver, demonstrates you are open to learning and are concerned about your own performance.
Finally you choose what to do about the feedback.
Is the feedback some thing you should act on? Are you late for work regularly? Do you get so focused on minor details you keep missing deadlines?
Maybe the feedback is just plain wrong. How can you change that perception of you or is it better just to let the matter go?
Remember you don’t have to like the feedback or the feedback giver, but it can still be useful. I was once told by my boss I’d never succeed in a certain area, because I was too impatient. Not the most constructive way of giving feedback and I did not agree. I felt I was focused on getting results. However it did make me realise this was the wrong impression for this particular area if I was to succeed. So I changed the way I approached this area and successfully reduced people’s perceptions of impatience making my job easier.
So remember there’s always something to be learned from feedback even if the motives of the person giving the feedback if highly suspect.
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